2013 - Race 16 - Indian GP Results

The points scored by each driver, chassis, and engine, and the points scored by each team entered were as follows.

Indian GP		V e t t e l	W e b b e r	A l o n s o	M a s s a	R ä I k k ö n e n	G r o s j e a n	B u t t o n	P e r e z	H a m I l t o n	R o s b e r g	M a l d o n a d o	B o t t a s	H u l k e n b e r g	G u t I e r r e z	d I R e s t a	S u t i l	V e r g n e	R I c c I a r d o	P I c	v a n d e r G a r d e	B I a n c h i	C h I l t o n
Race Results	Race Finish Position	1	0	11	4	7	3	14	5	6	2	12	16	19	15	8	9	13	10	0	0	18	17
	Starting Grid Position	1	4	8	5	6	17	10	9	3	2	18	15	7	16	12	13	14	11	21	20	19	22
	Fastest Race Lap					Y
	No. Completed Laps	60	39	60	60	60	60	59	60	60	60	60	59	54	59	60	60	59	60	35	1	58	58
	Disqualified?
	No. Stop/Go Penalties
Driver Points Scored	Race Finish Position	75			40	20	50		30	25	60					15	10		5
	Starting Grid Position	30	19	15	18	17	6	13	14	20	21	5	8	16	7	11	10	9	12	2	3	4	1
	Grid - Race Movement	0		-6	2	-2	28	-8	8	-6	0	12	-2	-24	2	8	8	2	2			2	10
	Fastest Lap					10
	No. Completed Laps	60	39	60	60	60	60	59	60	60	60	60	59	54	59	60	60	59	60	35	1	58	58
	Disqualified Penalty
	Retirement Penalty		-50																	-50	-50
	Stop/Go Penalties
Total Driver Score		165	8	69	120	105	144	64	112	99	141	77	65	46	68	94	88	70	79	-13	-46	64	69
Chassis Points Scored	No. Completed Laps	60	39	60	60	60	60	59	60	60	60	60	59	54	59	60	60	59	60	35	1	58	58
	Retirement Penalty		-25																	-25	-25
Total Chassis Score		60	14	60	60	60	60	59	60	60	60	60	59	54	59	60	60	59	60	10	-24	58	58
Engine Points Scored	Race Finish Position	75			40	20	50		30	25	60					15	10		5
	Starting Grid Position	30	19	15	18	17	6	13	14	20	21	5	8	16	7	11	10	9	12	2	3	4	1
	Retirement Penalty		-20																	-20	-20
Total Engine Score		105	-1	15	58	37	56	13	44	45	81	5	8	16	7	26	20	9	17	-18	-17	4	1

Race Result				Overall Position
Name	Race Total	Race Position		Name	Overall Total	Overall Position
Free To Those Who Can Afford It	628	1		Singing In The Rain	8780	1
Charlton's Chumps	619	2		Peter Leatherland	8674	2
Paul Szomoru	607	3		Pedro Leatherland	8653	3
Pedro Leatherland	600	4		Ayr Town Centre	8407	4
Cannonball	563	5		Cymru F1	8386	5
Erik The Elephant	559	6		Paul Szomoru	8386	5
Fury	559	6		Houghton Bird	8383	7
Whickham Racers	558	8		Erik The Elephant	8280	8
N-Gine	555	9		Stop Up Villa	8265	9
At Risk	551	10		Robbies Banger Racing	8211	10
The Taxman's Taken All My Dough	550	11		Milton De Silva	8200	11
Oh You Went To Eton	549	12		David Parkin	8168	12
Cymru F1	541	13		Thank You Ke-mo Sah-bee	8157	13
Kyalami Racing	540	14		A Taste Of Honey	8111	14
Homer Doh!	538	15		Homer Doh!	8101	15
Ayr Town Centre	537	16		Turin Triumph	8068	16
Do'nut Donnelly	515	17		Beast Basher	8049	17
Flowery Quest	510	18		Charlton's Chumps	8047	18
The Beast's Revenge	508	19		Series 6 Episode 45	8023	19
Charlie Max Gallagher	505	20		Catch Me If You Can	8001	20
Milton De Silva	505	20		Willy Wonka	7963	21
Peter Leatherland	504	22		Evo	7958	22
Paduan Racing	502	23		Virgin On The Impossible	7940	23
Larry's Shirt	499	24		Mickey's Motor	7845	24
Mickey's Motor	497	25		Donnelly's Danglers	7821	25
Flippers Divers	493	26		Robbie The Reindeer	7817	26
Pedro Gallagher	482	27		Kyalami Racing	7788	27
Catch Me If You Can	481	28		N-Gine	7782	28
Never Red	479	29		Martony Racing One	7781	29
Mrs Button Wanna Be	475	30		Do'nut Donnelly	7740	30
Dannielle Johnston	474	31		Free To Those Who Can Afford It	7729	31
Robbies Banger Racing	471	32		F1HFH	7713	32
Martony Racing One	468	33		Erik Estrada	7674	33
Mr Kobyashi	466	34		I'm The Taxman	7674	33
Hezza's Heroes 1	460	35		The Taxman's Taken All My Dough	7651	35
Thank You Ke-mo Sah-bee	456	36		Kerrie Goodall 1	7643	36
Beast Basher	454	37		Cheeky Monkey	7589	37
Lucy Locket's Rocket	453	38		Verbalkint	7585	38
Mal Fletcher	453	38		Paduan Racing	7567	39
Liar, You've Got Antifreeze	452	40		Cannonball	7561	40
Baja Scoch	449	41		On the Right Track?	7548	41
Houghton Bird	445	42		Brazil or Bust	7527	42
Victoria Concordia Crescit	445	42		Jody Scheckter	7481	43
Cheeky Monkey	444	44		Labbett Lambaster	7447	44
Singing In The Rain	441	45		Team Cymru Am Byth	7446	45
David Parkin	440	46		Bags, Bags, Bags and More Bags	7445	46
F1HFH	439	47		Claire Teuma	7434	47
Lee (God I Love McLaren) Stonehewer	438	48		Fury	7418	48
Verbalkint	438	48		Chaser Slayer	7396	49
Bantha Fodder	437	50		Fellside Fools	7375	50
In Arsene We Rust	437	50		Oh You Went To Eton	7365	51
Blanche	435	52		Glendinning	7363	52
A Taste Of Honey	431	53		Flippers Divers	7354	53
Dr. S	430	54		Mackaroony	7349	54
Mark Thompson	430	54		Sunday Night Lights	7348	55
1st GB	429	56		The Wise One	7320	56
Mustang Sally	429	56		Honeycombover	7314	57
ROM	429	56		1st GB	7300	58
Series 6 Episode 45	429	56		Robot Chicken	7261	59
Hezza's Heroes 2	425	60		Honey, Honey	7227	60
Kerrie Goodall 1	425	60		At Risk	7219	61
The Wise One	420	62		Team GB	7216	62
I'm The Taxman	414	63		Mrs Button Wanna Be	7213	63
Martony Racing Two	412	64		Lucy Locket's Rocket	7209	64
Sunday Night Lights	410	65		TiggyWiggy	7161	65
Claire Teuma	409	66		Whickham Racers	7136	66
Kerrie Goodall 2	406	67		Mr Kobyashi	7120	67
Fellside Fools	405	68		Force Sloth Racing	7108	68
Willy Wonka	401	69		Honey Monster	7104	69
Mr Fenster	400	70		In Arsene We Rust	7093	70
Team GB	399	71		ROM	7093	70
Mackaroony	398	72		Bad Day At Work	7061	72
Turin Triumph	397	73		Mal Fletcher	7053	73
BezF1	395	74		Dan Johnston	7040	74
Force Sloth Racing	395	74		Mr Fenster	7015	75
Stop Up Villa	395	74		Babadaboopy	7014	76
Red Bull Addict	394	77		Bantha Fodder	7002	77
Greasy Pistons	392	78		Down Under Girl	6931	78
Stuart Gunn	392	78		Maltese Falcon	6927	79
Virgin On The Impossible	392	78		Greasy Pistons	6888	80
Erik Estrada	389	81		Lee (God I Love McLaren) Stonehewer	6883	81
Honeycombover	389	81		The Beast's Revenge	6868	82
Team Cymru Am Byth	388	83		BezF1	6861	83
Babadaboopy	385	84		Dannielle Johnston	6816	84
Evo	384	85		Mustang Sally	6788	85
Robot Chicken	376	86		Kerrie Goodall 2	6770	86
Nicks Numpties	372	87		Stew the Brew	6769	87
Chaser Slayer	361	88		Never Red	6732	88
Team Kaisha	361	88		Ben GP MkII	6730	89
Down Under Girl	359	90		Team Kaisha	6728	90
Luck of the Irish	358	91		Mack the Knife	6717	91
Labbett Lambaster	351	92		Flowery Quest	6668	92
Maltese Falcon	349	93		Carbon Leither	6621	93
On the Right Track?	340	94		Mark Thompson	6614	94
Glendinning	333	95		Dr. S	6612	95
Robbie The Reindeer	333	95		Michael Maughan	6479	96
Shoes, Shoes, Shoes, & More Shoes!	333	95		Hezza's Heroes 1	6425	97
Donnelly's Danglers	331	98		Red Bull Addict	6397	98
Bags, Bags, Bags and More Bags	328	99		Martony Racing Two	6302	99
Flip Me Again	326	100		Luck of the Irish	6300	100
Jody Scheckter	318	101		Shoes, Shoes, Shoes, & More Shoes!	6216	101
Honey Monster	314	102		Liar, You've Got Antifreeze	6179	102
TiggyWiggy	311	103		Parking at Rascasse	6179	102
Michael Maughan	309	104		Nicks Numpties	6137	104
Ben GP MkII	300	105		Bullet Proof Bomb	6135	105
Brazil or Bust	291	106		Victoria Concordia Crescit	6131	106
Carbon Leither	291	106		Stuart Gunn	6091	107
Bad Day At Work	284	108		Mean Machine 00	6080	108
Mean Machine 00	272	109		Charlie Max Gallagher	6066	109
Peter Baker	268	110		Larry's Shirt	6056	110
Honey, Honey	256	111		Flip Me Again	6009	111
Mack the Knife	253	112		Blanche	6006	112
Stew the Brew	237	113		Pedro Gallagher	5878	113
Bullet Proof Bomb	222	114		Hezza's Heroes 2	5870	114
Dan Johnston	191	115		Peter Baker	5818	115
Parking at Rascasse	176	116		Baja Scoch	5593	116
Male Average =	423			Male Average =	7289
Female Average =	415			Female Average =	7056

Regards,
Lawrence.

2013 - Race 15 - Japanese GP Report

USELESS QUESTION:

WHY DO DISCUS THROWERS BECOME DIZZY BUT HAMMER THROWERS DON’T?

USELESS FACT:

YOU’RE BORN WITH 300 BONES BUT BY THE TIME YOU BECOME AN ADULT YOU ONLY HAVE 206.

 

Autumn creeps slowly on.  We have weather that is dramatically different from last year.  It’s still mild compared to last year when we had our first snow before the end of October, the first of seven consecutive months when it snowed on Tyneside.  So we approach Halloween when kids look forward to making pumpkin lanterns and dressing up, hoping to get sweets and treats by scaring the bejesus out of strangers and neighbours alike, while adults turn the lights off in the hope that no kid knocks on their door.  So, whose hopes of glory in Japan were cleaned out more than a pumpkin at Halloween?

In the battle of the genders the men continued to treat the ladies as dogs treat lampposts, winning by 354 points to 346.  In the overall race the men now lead the ladies by 6866 points to 6642, thus maintaining their view that girls are like Christmas lights...they all hang out together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do work aren't very bright. 

Our parade of the hopeless lead by the helpless has two more members making their seasonal debut.  Hallelujah!  In 107^th place with 198 points we have Luck of the Irish who is wondering how many black cats he’s run over to enjoy luck this bad.  In 108^th place with 180 points we have Shoes, Shoes, Shoes, & More Shoes!  returning to the basement in search of another bargain.  Making their debut in 109^th place with 169 points we have Never Red crawling out from under a rock thinking it’s safe and getting squashed by the rock.  In 110^th place with 159 points we have Bullet Proof Bomb returning to the site of previous embarrassment, like a stripper to a fan.  In 111^th place with 146 points we have The Wise One who has still not learnt his lesson.  In 112^th place with 141 points we have Mark Thompson who, as practice makes perfect, is more comfortable here than he should be.  In 113^th place with 124 points we have Parking at Rascasse happy that he’s not in last place again.

Occupying the inverse podium of shame in 114^th place with 100 points we have Mack the Knife making his debut with as much impact as a blunt fish knife.  In 115^th place with 95 points we have Flip Me Again who must be tossing and turning in his sleep with guilt.  Finally, in last place with 85 points we have On the Right Track? Who would rather scrub his scrotum with a stinging jellyfish than be here.

Now, who’s suddenly happier than a meteorologist with a correct weather forecast?  In 10^th place with 489 points we have Catch Me If You Can who knows that after reaching 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint you're probably dead.  In 9^th place with 499 points we have ROM making one last attempt to rescue his reputation as a man, but the jury’s still out on that.  In 8^th place with 501 points we have Martony Racing One returning again but now without any dreams of end of season glory.  In 7^th place with 503 points we have Cymru F1 keeping the flag flying for Wales.  In 6^th place with 504 we have Evo showing that I was wrong in the previous race and Evo might be short for evolution after all, but too late to have any effect.  In 5^th place with 507 points we have Jody Scheckter doing more for the image of South Africa than apartheid ever did.  In 4^th place with 514 points we have Pedro Leatherland returning to form with his ninth top ten finish so far and he now has bigger dreams than a pubescent teenage boy dreaming of Pamela Anderson.

Who are those on the podium that are happier than a pig in something extremely smelly and sticky?  In 3^rd place with 516 points we have Robbie The Reindeer making the podium again and bouncing along with a smile bigger than Beyonce’s booty.  In 2^nd place with 522 points we have Fellside Fools rising from the abyss of previous appearances to a position unattainable without divine intervention.  Amazingly, taking the champagne and trumpet fanfare, our winner with 552 points is Homer Doh! who has done nothing all season and now appears out of nowhere like a traffic warden when your meter time has just expired.

In the overall standings whose standing is lower than an energy company that’s just raised it’s prices?  Rising to 107^th place with 5699 points we have Stuart Gunn making a last desperate bid for freedom.  Rising to 108^th place with 5686 points we have Victoria Concordia Crescit whose team name is missing the word Minimus.  Finally slipping into the abyss in 109^th place with 5683 points we have Flip Me Again getting his just deserts for a season of unmitigated dross.  Dropping one place to 110^th place with 5571 points we have Blanche making a less than determined effort to avoid ignominy.  In 111^th place with 5561 points we have Charlie Max Gallagher delighted to be consistently out-performing his Dad now as they both get older.  In 112^th place with 5557 points we have Larry's Shirt which if the second word was one letter less would describe his performance this season.  In 113^th place with 5550 points we have Peter Baker who is approaching he age where ‘happy hour’ to him means having a nap.

Now, which triumvirate are occupying the inverse podium of shame now?  Climbing to 114^th place with 5445 points we have Hezza's Heroes 2 whose performance this season has been a mix of awesome and beautiful…it’s been awful.  Anchored in 115^th place with 5396 points we have Pedro Gallagher losing the plot, his hair, and the respect of his offspring.  Finally, still in last place, with 5144 points we have Baja Scoch who is finding this more painful and embarrassing than a back, sack and crack wax.

Now, whose hopes are higher than my hopes for Newcastle United this season?  Slipping to 10^th place with 7728 points we have David Parkin enjoying more luck than a badger in the cull.  Rising to an amazing 9^th place with 7740 points we have Robbies Banger rising to a height he’s never previously managed without the aid of a ladder.  Rising to 8^th place with 7779 points we have Paul Szomoru finding this easier than spelling his name after five pints.  Rising to finally eat at the top table in 7^th with 7845 points we have Cymru F1 showing that just because he’s Welsh doesn’t make him a bad person.  In joint 5^th place with 7870 points we have Ayr Town Centre and Stop Up Villa a partnership more deadly than six pints of lager and a vindaloo curry.  Dropping off the podium to 4^th place with 7938 points we have Houghton Bird who is proof that the trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Our podium dancers this time have changed again.  Returning to the top table in 3^rd place with 8053 points we have Pedro Leatherland finally making a podium without having to take his clothes off and dance.  Still in 2^nd place with 8170 points we have Peter Leatherland who must be thinking he is stuck in Groundhog Day.  Finally, still our leader with 8339 points is Singing In The Rain who is almost as happy as Sebastian Vettel at present.

The next race is the Indian GP on 27^th October.

Regards,

Lawrence.